Not so long ago I read an article about tips for writers from published authors. The exact location of this article and it’s nearly all of its contents have faded into the obscurity of memory and is remembered only as half heard whispers on a wind of fact and misinformation. But one thing stuck in my head, something which continues to niggle at me whenever I start to type. The reason that this one solitary fact remains when all the rest have been culled is simply because I disagree with it so much. I disagree with it to the point that it actually makes me a little bit angry. Most of the tips I read I agreed with, already did or thought were actually quite nifty little ideas. I still forgot them, but that’s hardly the point. The offending tip in question simply stated that you should never use similes or metaphors. Not ever. Under any circumstances. Because these things are for amateurs; the plebeians of the writing world; the scum that you scrape from the bottom of your shoe. Now obviously, this author has been published so she must have some slight modicum of talent, but putting a blanket embargo on similes and metaphors? That struck me as one of the most awful suggestions I’ve ever heard.