It hasn’t been a good couple of months for me creatively. Which is typical of life really, the one time of the year where I’m more or less getting snowed under with things to write and I more or less lose the ability to do so. I’ve spent literally days staring at my computer screen, trying to bring myself to do some proper writing. (Blogging isn’t really proper writing, it’s basically the writing equivalent of standing in the street shouting at passers-by.) And in that time I have achieved more or less nothing. This isn’t a case of writer’s block, writer’s block I can deal with, that’s just the problem of not knowing what to write. The situation I find myself in is not being able to bring myself to write. Just staring at the empty or half written pages fills me with a profound sense of ennui. That hopeless feeling of “honestly why do I even bother?” It’s hardly an ideal, and as much fun as cranking the stereo volume up to 11, curling up on the sofa with a cup of tea and hoping that the world spontaneously catches fire, it doesn’t really achieve anything.
But regardless of this I’ve got to summon up the strength to write somewhere between 4.5 and 9 thousand words by the end of February. That is an awful lot of words. It’s more than slightly intimidating. Especially considering that I usually only manage to force out 1 thousand a month by sheer luck and no small force of will. Both of which I feel I am in short supply of right now. So I’ve decided to cheat a little bit. 5 thousand words might seem a little intimidating, but 10 little sets of 500? That seems eminently doable, or at least I’d hope it’ll be. I’ll disguise these little parts as me trying to be clever with story structure, no will ever suspect a thing!
But seriously, I really want to get out of this rut and back to churning out some words. Not being able to is seriously doing my head in.