A Real and Proper Writer

At the start of November I mentioned that I was writing a fairy tale to submit for inclusion in an eBook being put together by Homespun Theatre. All funds going into what I like to image is a big cast iron cauldron with the words “CASH” stencilled on the side in white spray-paint. When the cauldron is overflowing with cash-moneys they’ll cart it off to the local witch who will then take it as payment for casting a spell, a magical spell which will let them take their Edinburgh Fringe show on a national tour. It’s like a more capitalist version of Cinderella. This may however not been entirely accurate in its specifics. It’s near enough though, It’ll do.

The eBook went on sale late on Friday afternoon. My monstrously long fairy tale was accepted. I guess this makes me a real and proper writer now. Whoa…


I’ll admit, I haven’t read the entire book yet. There’s a list of reasons as to way this is the case. It’s about 150 pages long; I’ve only had a copy for 2 days; of these days one was spent drunk and the other hungover. So reading it is on the to-do list. I am however, quite certain that it will be very good.

This books represents a rather big milestone for me. The sort of milestone that stands a hundred foot tall, hewn from a spire of living marble, perhaps rigged up with some fairy lights or a big neon sign that reads “MILESTONE.” Up until the release of this book I had just been plodding away in obscurity, writing very much for writing’s sake. But now? Well I’m in a book. Sure we can sit around here and split hairs over whether it constitutes “a real book,” or whether anyone will actually see or read it. These points are largely irrelevant to me. I have written something that was deemed good enough to be published to an audience. Sure the book was being put together by my stout and stalwart internet-writer-friend Ali from 12 books, but there it is: A book. A book people will pay money for. A book which people will pay money for and has things written by me ensconced within its ephemeral cyber-pages. It’s even got an ISBN. A fucking ISBN! I feel quite fantastically proud of myself. It makes me feel that perhaps I’m not wasting my time, that I might not in fact be awful at this whole writing thing and that one day, maybe, just maybe, I might actually be able to get my shit together for long enough to write a book of my own. For now though: baby-steps.

Homespun Threads (A Patchwork of Fairytales) is available from Smashwords for the low, low price of $9.99 and from Amazon for the bargain cost of Ā£6.17.

About The Rogue Verbumancer

A chemistry graduate consumed by the demons of apathy and disinterest. Likes tea and cheese. Sleeps less than he should. View all posts by The Rogue Verbumancer

4 responses to “A Real and Proper Writer

  • Katy

    Snap! I just finished reading “The King’s Champion” and loved it (and liked Hrungandr the best!). Much to be proud of there, sir. Or, should I say, published writer man…!

    Tell me, how did you come up with the cool names?

    • The Rogue Verbumancer

      I’m glad that you enjoyed it, even if you’re the only person who does it’s enough to warrant chalking this little endeavour up in the win column.

      As for the names, I must confess that I tend to cheat a bit when it comes to them. I discovered a while back that Scrivener has a name generator in the writing tools section. I selected a thematically appropriate ethnicity for the setting and then cycled through a hundred or so until I found some which I liked the sound of and seemed to fit nicely. As for Hrungandr I went on wikipedia to look up names of giants from Norse mythology and then chopped, changed and generally mashed together a selection of syllables from 2 or 3 of them.

      And now the magic is ruined šŸ˜›

  • silvanthato

    The congratulations are in order! Well done! Will be sure to check this book out.

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